Nothing is more frustrating to the chiropractor who's put his or her heart and soul into educating patients about the value of chiropractic care, than to have gone through this process only to hear a potential new patient say, "My spouse won't let me do it."

Wouldn't it be great if you knew how to turn this seemingly negative response into a positive chiropractic family experience? There is a way you can make it a win-win situation for everyone involved.

To begin with, when your foundation is a lifetime care family practice, people know before they walk through your door that your focus in on the family and that you are going to be interested in talking to them about their immediate family members' needs.

If however, at the end of your report of findings, patients confess to you they really want to enroll in care but that they have a spouse who is adamantly opposed, take them through the following questions and help them understand how important it is for them to make the decision to commit to chiropractic care. These questions can be used in scenarios where patients say they need to go home to talk to their spouse before they can commit to care.

1. Do you think your spouse will support you in your decision to get chiropractic care? If the patient says, "no," continue with something like this:

"Mary, do you understand how this subluxation or interference is affecting your life? Can you see it here (show her on the X-ray or let her feel it on her body). How do you think this will affect you a year from now, three years from now or five years from now if the health of your spine is not maintained?" Encourage her to fully explore the possibilities and answer this question in detail.

Then continue the dialogue with the following question:

"Mary, if your spouse doesn't let you do this, who is going to live with the consequences of not being under chiropractic care?" The obvious response is that she will have to live with it. Then ask, "Well, do you want to get the care?" Continue to explore the ramifications of not accepting care. "Mary, if five years from now you still have an injured and unhealthy spine and nervous system and its many consequences, how are you going to feel towards your husband because he or she didn't let you do it?"

As you step your potential new patients through this process, you will be amazed at how people who weren't planning on committing to care go ahead and do it anyway. Some of you may say "this is just too pushy," but can your conscience really live with the consequences of their walking away?

Make it clear to your patients you're not saying that decisions about health, career, vacations and the like shouldn't really be "family" decisions. But by the same token, you do know some people who have suffered (either emotionally or physically) because they did not do something that "innately" they knew they should have done. Honoring your innate requires individuals to sometimes make decisions that no one else in the family will understand at the time. But later, your reasons will become clear.

Once you have taken a stand for these types of patients by encouraging them to take a stand for themselves, they will become lifetime, loyal patients.

I remember a patient of mine who felt so strongly about her right and need to receive chiropractic care that she told me she would get a divorce if her husband did not support her in this decision. It never came to that. Six months after enrolling in care, she and her husband were in a terrible car accident. She came out of the accident with little more than cuts and bruises while her spouse was severely injured as a result of the trauma. Both she and her husband were certain that the maintenance of her spine had helped save her from further injury. After that, he became an active participant in the family wellness plan his wife had chosen to start earlier that year.

As a chiropractor, never be afraid to take a stand for what you believe in and help other people do the same. This principle also applies when a spouse is in opposition to a child being under chiropractic care. Here are pertinent questions to ask the parent in this situation:

2. "Mary, do you feel like your child would benefit from chiropractic care? Is this something of value that you could do for them. If 10 years from now, your child is suffering consequences from not being under chiropractic care, are you going to feel good about your decision or will you be living with a lot of regrets?"

Using these dialogues will help guide your patients in making good health decisions for themselves and for the people they love.