December 2006

The spirit of Christmas

by Dr. Ogi Ressel

I'd like to share with you a special story from the Cape Cod Times (one of my favorite places to visit) by one of their contributing writers.

"Christmas Spirit Gets Delivered," by Claudia Gale

"A true New Englander, I loved Christmas as a child; lots of snow, pine boughs braided up the staircase and the traditional Christmas tree in the living room with big, multicolored lights, tinsel and a mix of homemade and store‑bought ornaments.

"Every year we would carol around the neighborhood with genuine glee, and the Saturday before Christmas we'd venture up to Walker's Farm for a hayride, with mulled cider and sugar cookies afterward. Friends and relatives came by for cheer, and we all tried to be extra good, for we knew Santa was watching us closely. The '50s were meant for Christmas.

"But now, actually in my 50s, I have become humbug about the whole ordeal. Frankly, I have come to hate Christmas. The joy and meaning have been eradicated by commercialism and an all‑too‑angry world. In my aging years, I am much more inclined to think about Mr. Grinch than the baby Jesus.

"I am childless, without any 'immediate' family, and most of my friends spend Christmas with their families, or out of the country, or are Jewish. I don't decorate, and I don't celebrate. I can't even remember when I last had a tree.

"In the past few years, I have become physically disabled. My house is starting to fall down, and the whole place is in disrepair. Even my mailbox is slouching ‑‑ not toward Bethlehem, but toward China. The only thing I have to look forward to at Christmas are the delicious butter cookies my neighbor, Pam, makes for me every year. That's my Christmas: a tin of butter cookies.

"I had knee surgery some weeks ago, and the resulting pain put me in true Christmas dis‑spirit. I've been Scrooging it up since before Thanksgiving. And with the recent news that our electric bills are about to double, I would never think about putting up any Christmas lights. Moreover, this year I decided not to even bother with a wreath over my door, because its beauty would only cause the house to look so much worse than it already does.

"I had been a tad concerned, however, with my teetering mailbox, as I knew the mailman probably would opt not to deliver this winter ‑‑ since I doubt his arm had grown the required length needed to open the mailbox lid, which was now 17 inches closer to the ground. But in my humbuggery, I figured, so what? At least I won't get any bills until spring.

"The other morning, after spending a day in bed because I couldn't face the fact that the grass was white, I needed some coffee. I got into my 11‑year old car and backed up the driveway as usual. While coming out of the drive, I noticed that my mailbox had a red bow on its lid. I was confused ‑‑ not dazed, but confused. The bow was upright. In fact, the mailbox and the pole were upright. 'What's going on?' I thought. 'Someone's been fooling with my mailbox.'

"I got out of my car and hobbled with one crutch over to the mailbox, squinting, not believing what I was seeing. And then I started to cry. There it stood: At a perfect 90 degrees from the ground was a post made of sturdy weatherproof wood supporting a new, whiter‑than‑snow mailbox with a lovely red bow on it. It was beautiful.

"I opened the box and there was mail inside: a couple of pieces of junk mail and my first Christmas card of the season (from a Jewish friend). But there was no card or anything saying who had replaced my termite tinder box for the prettiest mailbox in town. Of course, after three or four seconds of pondering, I knew it was the work of my neighbors, Pam and her husband.

"I cried half the morning, telling everyone I met, even strangers, what a wonderful Christmas present I'd received. To be honest, I was still a bit weepy after getting off the phone, effusively thanking Pam and Paul for putting the spirit of Christmas back in my soul.

"She was delighted I was so happy, but I had to ask: 'Does this mean I won't be getting my butter cookies?' She laughed and said, 'I've already got the tin.'

"I think I'm going out tomorrow to purchase the most festive Christmas wreath. And who knows? I might even get a tree!"

‑‑‑‑‑

...And that's exactly the reason for the season!

It's a not a matter of what others can do for you, but a matter of what you can do for others.

I never understood why this happens mostly at Christmas, though. Why do we suddenly become disassociated and distanced from others right after the New Year and resume being wonderful and caring people again just before next Christmas?

Wayne Dyer once asked a little girl in his audience why it was when you squeezed an orange, orange juice came out. You never, ever, get grapefruit juice or pineapple juice when you squeeze an orange. She looked at him and said; "That's stupid. You get orange juice because that's what's inside." Right! And so it is with many of us.

When "squeezed" and under pressure, we often tend to lose our cool, explode, and seem to change our personality. But, not really. It's just that when under pressure what comes out is what's inside, and sometimes it's not pretty. We tend to be egotistical, short‑tempered, self‑centered, and concerned about me, me, me.

I suggest this Christmas and New Year, we decide to squeeze the rest of what's inside us out, so that there's no more left. And we let go of our petty differences because 50 years from now, they won't mean a thing anyway. And we decide to share this wondrous world and our zest for life with others. This isn't very hard. It starts with a simple decision ‑‑ and some discipline.

Warmest wishes and hugs to all of you and I'll chat with you in the New Year.

(Dr. Ogi Ressel, author, researcher, and an x‑ray and pediatric specialist, teaches The Practice Evolution Program, the "fastest‑growing coaching program on the planet." Visit online at www.practiceevolution.com  and take the Practice Health Mini‑Checkup. Dr. Ressel may be contacted by e‑mail at drogi@practiceevolution.com  or by calling 800‑353‑3082. Interested in receiving his weekly THOTS "on seeing tons of children and families in your practice?" Send him an e‑mail and asked to be added to the list.)