October 2006

'My spouse won't let me'

by Dr. Eric Plasker

Nothing is more frustrating to chiropractors who put heart and soul into educating their patients about the value of chiropractic care, than going through this process only to hear a potential new patient say, "My spouse won't let me do it." Wouldn't it be great if you knew how to turn this seemingly negative response into a positive chiropractic family experience? Well, here's how you can make it a " win‑win" for everyone involved.

The first step is to have a family lifetime care vision already implemented as the foundation of your practice. People should know at the outset, even before they walk through your door, that your focus is on the family and that you'll be interested in talking to them about their immediate family members' needs.

At the end of your Report of Findings, you may have a patient confess to you that he or she really wants to enroll in care, but his or her spouse is adamantly opposed. Take the person through the following questions and help him or her to understand how important it is to make the decision to commit to chiropractic care (these questions can also be used in scenarios where patients say they need to go home to talk to their spouse before they can commit to care):

***  Ask your patient, "Do you think your spouse will support you in your decision to get chiropractic care?" If the patient says, "no," then respond: " Mary, do you understand how this subluxation or interference is affecting your life? Can you see it here (show her the X‑ray or let her feel it on her body)? How do you think this will affect you one year from now, three years or five years from now if the health of your spine isn't maintained?"

***  Encourage the patient to fully explore the possibilities and answer this question in detail. Then continue the dialogue with the following question: "Mary, if your spouse doesn't let you do this, who's going to live with the consequences of not being under chiropractic care?" The obvious response is that Mary will have to live with it. Then ask, "Well, do you want to get the care?"

***  Continue to explore the ramifications of not accepting care. "Mary, if five years from now you still have an injured and unhealthy spine and nervous system and its many consequences, how are you going to feel towards your husband because he didn't let you do it?"

As you guide your potential new patients through this process, you'll be amazed at how people who weren't planning on committing to care go ahead and do it anyway. Some of you may say this method's too "pushy," but can your conscience really live with the consequences of a needy patient who walks away from healing?

Make it clear to patients you're not saying that decisions about health, career, vacations and the like shouldn't really be "family" decisions. But by the same token, you do know some people who have suffered (either emotionally or physically) because they failed to do something that "innately" they knew they should have done. Honoring your innate requires individuals to sometimes make decisions that no one else in the family will understand at the time. But later, your reasons will become clear.

Once you've taken a stand for these types of patients by encouraging them to take a stand for themselves, they will become lifetime, loyal patients.

I remember a patient of mine who felt so strongly about her right and need to receive chiropractic care that she told me she would file for divorce if her husband didn't support her in this decision. Thankfully, it didn't go that far. However, six months after enrolling in care, she and her husband were in a terrible car accident and she emerged relatively unscathed with few cuts and bruises while her spouse was severely injured as a result of the trauma. She was certain that the maintenance of her spine helped save her from further injury, and so was her husband. After the accident, he became an active participant in the family wellness plan that his wife had chosen to start earlier that year.

As a chiropractor, never be afraid to take a stand for what you believe in and help other people do the same. This principle also applies when a spouse is in opposition to a child being under chiropractic care. Here are pertinent questions to ask the parent in this situation: "Mary, do you feel your child would benefit from chiropractic care? Is this something of value that you could do for him (or her)? If 10 years from now, your child suffers consequences from not being under chiropractic care, are you going to feel good about your decision or will you be living with regret?"

Use these dialogues to help guide your patients toward making good health decisions for themselves and for the people they love.

(Dr. Eric Plasker is a licensed chiropractor and founder of The Family Practice chiropractic coaching and training organization, which provides all the systems, tools and support to build a highly successful and profitable family practice. An internationally known speaker and educator, he is best known for rallying the chiropractic profession around the LCfE (Lifetime Care For Everyone) and Family Practice visions. For a seminar schedule, coaching, training, or product information, call The Family Practice toll‑free at 866‑LEAD‑DCS (532‑3327), ext. 118. Or visit The Family Practice website at www.thefamilypractice.net)