August 2007

The use of t's

by Dr. Timothy Gay

The things we hear and say have a strong impact on what we're able to do. Commonly, these are the most over‑used words that people use to describe themselves, but more importantly, their actions.

When we use these words, we're sending a message out to others that creates self‑limitation. These words are to be taken out of your vocabulary and every time you use them, think about what it really means and reverse the usage to make your comments positive.

The first word is can't. This word is the most overused cop out in the English language. What it really means is you either have little confidence or knowledge for what is being asked of you or it's something you're simply unwilling to do. It reads to people that this reluctance is based on something much deeper, which is a type of fear to learn or change.

The word CAN gives you, as well as those around you, the positive affirmation to do what is necessary to complete the task. To make it happen shows knowledge, strength, and confidence. In many cases we find it easier to say we can't than to go ahead and give it our best shot.

The word try doesn't have that "t" at the end, yet it has a huge impact on what you will or won't accomplish. The word "try" really means that some effort is being made, but not enough to make a difference. Rather, it's a word with a built‑in escape clause for the user. Trying is unacceptable. DOING is acceptable.

The next word that we can identify with is don't, meaning the opposite of our old friend DO. How many times do you hear in your office, "we used to do that procedure or we used to use this marketing tool, such as birthday cards or a phone call after the first visit"? You know that list goes on and on. As a matter of fact, write down all of the "we used to do's" and see how much more effective your practice will be when they're implemented back into your practice.

The word won't is sometimes appropriate for integrity purposes, but in many cases it shows an unwillingness to transform. That transformation means there are things that need to change, but somehow the change never takes place. If we take away the "t" in this case, it means that something wonderful has already happened.

Before making decisions, it might be wise to take a closer look at what you won't do and what you will. Good ideas made by others could be instrumental and helpful for managing and building a stronger foundation for your practice. The words we use really identify our character and leadership ability for those around us. These words can create an atmosphere of negativity that if not recognized, may undermine you, your office, and your staff.

All of the words ending with "n't" have negative undertones. For instance, shouldn't, wouldn't and couldn't. Think how many times you've heard "shoulda, coulda, woulda" in all types of conversations on various issues, whether it was investments or goals that were, by no means met, or glory days gone by or long forgotten by most. Excuses are made from these words. If you find yourself or notice others around you using these terms as a form of self‑expression or self‑pity, either confront the issue or cancel it out of your consciousness.

We know that the determining factor for success is how we think and act and what we do. When you think right and do right, the right things just naturally happen. Right thinking is a habit much like wrong thinking is. It's easy to fall into the trap of using the "t" in your conversations, but now that it's been brought to your attention, see how many times you hear these words in one day.

Actually, to break it down in the simplest terms, all of the words discussed in this article have the exact opposite meaning when they are used without a "t."

With this in mind, remember, it's always better to speak positively rather than negatively. Your patients pick up on the way you choose and use your words. It makes more sense to leave anything that you say on a positive note. Furthermore, the glory is in the giving to and serving of your patients and humanity. If you're doing that, there isn't much more you need to say... at least not with a "t."

(Timothy J. Gay, DC, a 1977 Palmer College graduate, is the founder of Ultimate Practice Systems, a chiropractic management and consulting company specializing in personalized chiropractic consulting [on the web at www.ultimatepracticesystems.com]. He is a highly respected and nationally recognized speaker, and author of several books, as well as numerous CD and video products for the chiropractic profession. Dr. Gay holds seminars around the country on a variety of topics and may be reached by calling 1‑866‑797‑8366, or via e‑mail at timothygaydc@ultimatepractice.com.)